It appears I may be MIA for a few weeks starting now, as I am entering the final two weeks of rehearsals leading up to the senior play and so my free time is likely going to be limited. I often find that no matter how much I try to prepare for a production week I am never ready for it...no matter what I do. I know some of it is my own weaknesses. Contrary to what people may think, I don't spend every waking moment thinking about and planning for my shows (sometimes, I like to just forget about it and lie on the sofa with the TV playing)...which is a contributing factor I'm sure. I think if I got a few props every weekend and worked on tickets or the program or posters early on in the production, I'd probably enter these two weeks much less stressed. Its not like I waited till the last minutes either, but I could have been finished sooner. As it is, we've probably got more props in place than we usually do and a poster and program that just needs printing...and that's earlier than last year...but I still can't shake the feeling that we aren't ready for it to be the last two weeks. Perhaps it is the nature of the play itself...we're doing "Noises Off", a famously funny and difficult to produce play. I'm beginning to wonder if I haven't bitten off more than I could chew with this one...because here we are at 11 days till showtime and we aren't even ready to get through Act II without stopping (Act II, just so you know, is the play's most difficult moment when the stage is turned around to show the backstage area and the actors must be their off-stage characters while also rushing to the front of the stage to do their "play within a play"). Granted, we're clearer on it than we were a week ago, but will we be ready a week from now? I can't help but wonder if this is my failure? Did I fail my cast in some way? Did I not give them enough specifics? Did I make it too complicated? Did I rehearse them poorly? What could I have done differently?
I am confident that we will be successful with our play...though maybe not as successful as we might have been...and I think that's what bugs me. I would have to have put on this play and have it be dull and unfunny or simply mediocre. This was my chance to top my previous year's work and create something truly amazing...and I have a feeling I'm going to miss the mark. You never know though, two weeks from now I may write an amendment to this post detailing how we were amazing and how I can't believe I doubted us...but for now I'm feeling rather beat down by this animal, and I'm certainly planning to direct a much more simple play next year. For now though, I must focus on this one (though I already have to start planning the musical...it never ends) and make sure we can at least get through an act without stopping.