Belonging
This recently I had an amazing experience as one of 70 plus members of the Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus. We performed our show, Live Loud Live Proud, and shared with our audience what it means to us to be LGBTQ in 2019. It was emotional and revealing experience for all of us, and one I was personally proud to have. I was part of a group with similar interests and singing about topics and feelings that we can all relate to on some level. It was glorious and it got me thinking about the importance of being a part of a group with similar interests. Why do many people feel better when we are a part of a group? Why is there strength in numbers? Why do many people even feel the need to be a part of a group?
For me, I think the main reason I enjoy being a part of a group is the connections that are formed between the members. In the chorus, we were all brought together over our love of music and, specifically, singing. However, we also share the uniting factor of being a part of or supporting the queer community. In this way, many of us are able to instantly unite over socio-political beliefs and through the shared experience of queerness. It’s an empowering combination and it makes me feel very safe when I am with my chorus comrades. When I’m at work, or on the street, or with family I am often the only or one of the only queer people in the room and it can feel very isolating. When I’m at rehearsal or performing with the chorus, we become the majority and it feels amazing because I know that everyone in that room, on some level, understands me and my experience. We connect through these shared experiences and become family.
I often feel the same way when I visit one of my horror movie conventions. These conventions bring together hundreds of horror fans from around this region of the country, and sometimes even from across the country, and we are all united in our love of horror. What’s amazing about these events is that, even though I’ve never met any of these people, we all bond with each other as we stand in line for autographs and shop the vendors. We admire the different costumes that some people wear and we talk about what got us into loving the genre. It’s an amazing experience when you can connect with someone who you’ve never met before and will likely never see again...and yet in that moment, you’re all a part of something that you all love dearly.
Groups can be smaller of course and we all have our own smaller friend groups that give us strength as well. My small group of friends is made up from a small group of chorus buddies, my husband, and some of the friends I’ve made online over the years. It’s not a big group, but it’s a group I always feel comfortable with. What I love most about my little core group of friends is the sharing we do amongst ourselves. I’m very close with these guys and gals and we often talk about some pretty heavy topics. It feels very safe to be vulnerable with this group though, because I know that we are share a love for each other that connects us. In the past year, this group has made me think about things I’ve been going through in different ways and they’ve helped me work through a lot of my own baggage. I’ve also been able to help them through their own trauma and to help them grow.
It’s a privilege to be a part of the groups and communities we all fit into and is sometimes one we take for granted. I was thinking of this as we finished our concert a few weeks back. There we were, enjoying the post-show rush and laughing about where we thought we’d screwed up or done something different and I got to thinking about how empty my life was before I was a part of that group. If I hadn’t joined the chorus, I’d never have met so many of the people I know who I now consider my best friends. It was humbling and made me feel honored to be a part of an organization that brings so many people together to support the LGBT community. I look forward to many more years with this organization and to long-term friendships with my new friends.
For me, I think the main reason I enjoy being a part of a group is the connections that are formed between the members. In the chorus, we were all brought together over our love of music and, specifically, singing. However, we also share the uniting factor of being a part of or supporting the queer community. In this way, many of us are able to instantly unite over socio-political beliefs and through the shared experience of queerness. It’s an empowering combination and it makes me feel very safe when I am with my chorus comrades. When I’m at work, or on the street, or with family I am often the only or one of the only queer people in the room and it can feel very isolating. When I’m at rehearsal or performing with the chorus, we become the majority and it feels amazing because I know that everyone in that room, on some level, understands me and my experience. We connect through these shared experiences and become family.
I often feel the same way when I visit one of my horror movie conventions. These conventions bring together hundreds of horror fans from around this region of the country, and sometimes even from across the country, and we are all united in our love of horror. What’s amazing about these events is that, even though I’ve never met any of these people, we all bond with each other as we stand in line for autographs and shop the vendors. We admire the different costumes that some people wear and we talk about what got us into loving the genre. It’s an amazing experience when you can connect with someone who you’ve never met before and will likely never see again...and yet in that moment, you’re all a part of something that you all love dearly.
Groups can be smaller of course and we all have our own smaller friend groups that give us strength as well. My small group of friends is made up from a small group of chorus buddies, my husband, and some of the friends I’ve made online over the years. It’s not a big group, but it’s a group I always feel comfortable with. What I love most about my little core group of friends is the sharing we do amongst ourselves. I’m very close with these guys and gals and we often talk about some pretty heavy topics. It feels very safe to be vulnerable with this group though, because I know that we are share a love for each other that connects us. In the past year, this group has made me think about things I’ve been going through in different ways and they’ve helped me work through a lot of my own baggage. I’ve also been able to help them through their own trauma and to help them grow.
It’s a privilege to be a part of the groups and communities we all fit into and is sometimes one we take for granted. I was thinking of this as we finished our concert a few weeks back. There we were, enjoying the post-show rush and laughing about where we thought we’d screwed up or done something different and I got to thinking about how empty my life was before I was a part of that group. If I hadn’t joined the chorus, I’d never have met so many of the people I know who I now consider my best friends. It was humbling and made me feel honored to be a part of an organization that brings so many people together to support the LGBT community. I look forward to many more years with this organization and to long-term friendships with my new friends.
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