Loud and Loved
It’s Pride Month here in the states and it’s “Pride Week” here in Columbus. That means that this weekend we’ll have two different festivals, two parades, two performances by the Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus, and a whole lot of joy over the fact that we LGBTTQQIAAP folks are not only afforded the right to be visible in our community - but also that we have had the the ability to celebrate our Pride for 38 years here in our city. It feels amazing to live in a time where being LGBT has become less stigmatized and more normalized in our culture - something I couldn’t have imagined while growing up as a little closeted gay boy in southern West Virginia. Yet we are still struggling with acceptance, with constant attacks on the rights of transgendered individuals from our presidential administration and the “Religious Freedom” bills being introduced in states where conservative politicians have a strong hold. It’s because of this opposition to who we are that I feel the concept of Pride is still very needed and necessary. It’s all about being present in the world, being visible, and proclaiming at the top of our lungs that we will not be silent and invisible because our existence makes people uncomfortable. I actually feel honored to be marching with the Columbus Gay Men’s Chorus this weekend because of how our motto, “Voices Raised, Lives Changed”, parallels with our desire to be visible and to be heard. You know we are LGBT and ally voices when you see us because “gay” is part of our name and we raise our voices in song to make sure that we are heard.
So, since music is a huge part of Pride for many of us and because music is my life for the next several weeks (concert on the 29th...please come!) I decided to focus my Pride post on original music from two films I saw last week. The first song comes from the recent live-action version of Disney’s Aladdin, performed beautifully by Naomi Scott, titled “Speechless” and it fits so perfectly alongside the LGBT community’s desire to have its voice heard and acknowledged. The song is part of the new arc written for Jasmine in the film where she desires to be the next sultan, but is constantly told by the men around her that this is impossible and that it would be better if she was seen and not heard. However, her desire to not be silenced grows from a sad soliloquy to a beautiful and sweeping cry that pushes her to speak out against tyranny and the sad state of affairs in her own city. I found myself being very moved by this song when I first heard it, because in our current political and social climate I do feel the pressure to be silent. There are those who are openly bigoted and who want people like me to simply disappear - but there are also the well-meaning progressives who support the idea of being LGBT but would appreciate it if we weren’t so “aggressively gay” and would just be vanilla for their comfort. Jasmine’s song is a big “fuck you” to all of that, the lyrics ringing out:
I won’t be silenced
You can’t keep me quiet
Won’t tremble when you try it
All I know is I won’t so speechless, speechless
Let the storm in
I cannot be broken
No, I won’t live unspoken
‘Cause I know that I won’t go speechless
It puts me in mind of Marcia P. Johnson and the other rioters at Stonewall who said, “no more” and started the movement that has carried us to today. And we keep fighting for our voices every day...and we just keep getting louder every year.
Pride, and much of the music we play at Pride, is also about loving yourself and being free to express it. Sometimes that takes the form of wearing fetish gear, sometimes it’s just wearing a tee shirt that announces your pride, and sometimes it’s just about being there and being comfortable being a part of the event. Self-love and self-worth are two concepts that often elude folks in the LGBT community, which shouldn’t surprise anyone. This is a community that is told by their government, by society, and even by family and friends that they are aberrant...faulty...wrong. That leads to record numbers of us seeking mental healthcare to help us deal with the fact that we’ve learned to hate ourselves throughout our lives. Plus, if you fall into a more specialized group - queer person of color, transgendered, asexual, pansexual, polyamorous, intersex, and those that can’t even find their identity in the labels currently created - self-love is even harder to come by because the larger and more normalized group can often be just as discriminating as the dominant society. It’s with this in mind that I call out Elton John’s new song “(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again” which plays over the closing credits of his new biopic Rocketman.
The song is an upbeat and rocking number that recalls some of his best work both musically and features, as is usually the case, fantastic lyrics by his long-time collaborator Bernie Taupin. It speaks to how amazing it can feel when you realize that what you’ve needed all along wasn’t the approval of others but rather the self-assurance that you are good and you are strong. Loving oneself is one of the hardest things to do, even though it sounds so easy, and this song reminds us that it’s not only ok for you to love you - but that it is enthralling when you do. (Side note: the theme of realizing that you really need to love yourself was one of my favorite parts of the recent Rebel Wilson comedy Isn’t it Romantic and a theme that I am so excited to see showing up in movies lately because we really don’t focus on it enough as a long and difficult process.) Indeed, the whole message of Pride can be summed up in the chorus lyrics below:
Unbound by any ties that break or bend
I’m free, and don’t you know?
No clown that claimed he used to know me then
I’m free, and don’t you know?
And oh-oh-oh, I’m gonna love me again
I certainly see this song as one of my new personal anthems and one I use to remind me of how much my viewpoint of myself has changed in the past year. I really do feel better about myself as I’ve broken away from routines, focused more on my physical health, joined more groups, and engaged in new friendships - and I really do love me lately without that love needing to be tied to outside validation.
So while I’m marching and singing with my chorus family tomorrow, I’ll be thinking about how much they’ve all helped me to feel pride in who I am and what I can do. I’m proud of being gay, I’m proud that I am loved, and I am proud that I can see what’s good in me. So happy Pride everyone; be loud and be loved.
So, since music is a huge part of Pride for many of us and because music is my life for the next several weeks (concert on the 29th...please come!) I decided to focus my Pride post on original music from two films I saw last week. The first song comes from the recent live-action version of Disney’s Aladdin, performed beautifully by Naomi Scott, titled “Speechless” and it fits so perfectly alongside the LGBT community’s desire to have its voice heard and acknowledged. The song is part of the new arc written for Jasmine in the film where she desires to be the next sultan, but is constantly told by the men around her that this is impossible and that it would be better if she was seen and not heard. However, her desire to not be silenced grows from a sad soliloquy to a beautiful and sweeping cry that pushes her to speak out against tyranny and the sad state of affairs in her own city. I found myself being very moved by this song when I first heard it, because in our current political and social climate I do feel the pressure to be silent. There are those who are openly bigoted and who want people like me to simply disappear - but there are also the well-meaning progressives who support the idea of being LGBT but would appreciate it if we weren’t so “aggressively gay” and would just be vanilla for their comfort. Jasmine’s song is a big “fuck you” to all of that, the lyrics ringing out:
I won’t be silenced
You can’t keep me quiet
Won’t tremble when you try it
All I know is I won’t so speechless, speechless
Let the storm in
I cannot be broken
No, I won’t live unspoken
‘Cause I know that I won’t go speechless
It puts me in mind of Marcia P. Johnson and the other rioters at Stonewall who said, “no more” and started the movement that has carried us to today. And we keep fighting for our voices every day...and we just keep getting louder every year.
Pride, and much of the music we play at Pride, is also about loving yourself and being free to express it. Sometimes that takes the form of wearing fetish gear, sometimes it’s just wearing a tee shirt that announces your pride, and sometimes it’s just about being there and being comfortable being a part of the event. Self-love and self-worth are two concepts that often elude folks in the LGBT community, which shouldn’t surprise anyone. This is a community that is told by their government, by society, and even by family and friends that they are aberrant...faulty...wrong. That leads to record numbers of us seeking mental healthcare to help us deal with the fact that we’ve learned to hate ourselves throughout our lives. Plus, if you fall into a more specialized group - queer person of color, transgendered, asexual, pansexual, polyamorous, intersex, and those that can’t even find their identity in the labels currently created - self-love is even harder to come by because the larger and more normalized group can often be just as discriminating as the dominant society. It’s with this in mind that I call out Elton John’s new song “(I’m Gonna) Love Me Again” which plays over the closing credits of his new biopic Rocketman.
The song is an upbeat and rocking number that recalls some of his best work both musically and features, as is usually the case, fantastic lyrics by his long-time collaborator Bernie Taupin. It speaks to how amazing it can feel when you realize that what you’ve needed all along wasn’t the approval of others but rather the self-assurance that you are good and you are strong. Loving oneself is one of the hardest things to do, even though it sounds so easy, and this song reminds us that it’s not only ok for you to love you - but that it is enthralling when you do. (Side note: the theme of realizing that you really need to love yourself was one of my favorite parts of the recent Rebel Wilson comedy Isn’t it Romantic and a theme that I am so excited to see showing up in movies lately because we really don’t focus on it enough as a long and difficult process.) Indeed, the whole message of Pride can be summed up in the chorus lyrics below:
Unbound by any ties that break or bend
I’m free, and don’t you know?
No clown that claimed he used to know me then
I’m free, and don’t you know?
And oh-oh-oh, I’m gonna love me again
I certainly see this song as one of my new personal anthems and one I use to remind me of how much my viewpoint of myself has changed in the past year. I really do feel better about myself as I’ve broken away from routines, focused more on my physical health, joined more groups, and engaged in new friendships - and I really do love me lately without that love needing to be tied to outside validation.
So while I’m marching and singing with my chorus family tomorrow, I’ll be thinking about how much they’ve all helped me to feel pride in who I am and what I can do. I’m proud of being gay, I’m proud that I am loved, and I am proud that I can see what’s good in me. So happy Pride everyone; be loud and be loved.
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